I am Gollum...

I creep around the house trying not to be noticed. A creak here, a creak there and I think the vibrations begin earthquakes. I slink up the stairs from my dark, dank cellar. One, two flights then safety amongst the masticated dolls and toys who have fallen victim to the monster...

And there is a monster that lives here. No one will believe me, I doubt even you, faithful reader, but she does. She's small, yes. Beautiful, of course. Deadly, undoubtedly! She'll mame you for putting her shoe out of place, put you in iron grips for not agreeing to her capricious whims, and kill you with her mommy death-blows for making her the littlest bit angry. She is one to be watched and I am her watcher!

During the day, while mommy is away, she is demanding but fair. She rules her lair with that of the Queen of Hearts, taking those whom she trusts into her care and attacking those whom she deems traitors of the day. The hard part? She changes her mind like a deranged ferret, hopping back and forth between "feelings" and "impulses" like a mad woman. Those who try to please her fall into teddy bear prison, a not so bad place made up of derelict teddies who've found their crimes paid for and are a sign for you to keep your place with kisses and chocolate. Then there are those who fall into disaster mayhem where spitting and pinching are not uncommon and screaming and yelling are frequent on the eardrums. They're jobs are made tougher and longer, and after they're finished, and who knows when that will be, they are sent to the dungeon to pay for their impudence.

And that, that stuffy, hot cavern of a cell is where I live. I, Gollum, have taken board in the place where no other wishes to be. I've found a home in the dark, in the night. Because I, I alone, stand up to the monster! I am a new Gollum! I fight for my esteem, though I have none. I fight for respect, though the term is archaic. I fight...I fight...

But then I don't. Then I stumble down after fighting all day. Down, down to my dank coffin of a room and stealthily pull, very tenderly grab My Precious... She's one of a kind, white as new snow or my father's aging hair. She's crisp, too, delicate. One fall and she'd break into bits, leaving me more alone than ever before. She tells me stories, you see, of a world not here. She explains events that end with good over evil, and righteousness over malice. She knows me, understands me. She's named "Kindle" because she lights a fire in the darkness, but to me she is only "My Precious", and My Precious is the secret of my dwelling. Without her, I'd have rotted a long, long time ago. She's my savior and I am her faithful, loving Gollum. Together, My Precious and I, we shall fight the terrible, impenetrable monster! The end is coming!